*WARNING, the following is complete bear sh*t, it is not meant to be taken seriously, and possibly not read by children of a young age.
We are here today to tackle the age-old question, does an Ursaring sh*t in the woods? Some may say; “That’s a rhetorical question”, and while true, most of the time we assume the answer but, today is the day we find the truth!
I know I have never personally witnessed it happen. There would be certifiable photographic evidence if I had. So, let’s take a few minutes to sit back and examine this in detail, shall we?
THINGS THAT GO PLOP IN THE NIGHT
Ursaring, or as the really smart people call it, Ursus Pokésus. Often angry and most definitely cartoonish in nature, but, does it sh*t in the woods?
On our journey to answer this elusive question, we have been able to uncover tangible evidence, either for or against, to help us come to a conclusion on whether or not an Ursaring sh*ts in the woods. We can, however, take a closer look at the defecating behavior of the furrier, less cartoonish, less animated, and more common cousins of Ursaring, the wild bear. As you will see the excrement left by these “cousins” makes quite a case. Without further ado…
Here we will examine some of the more visually damning proof that Ursus Pokésus does indeed sh*t in the woods.
Be prepared, what you are about to see is not pretty, but in order to be thorough, we must examine all evidence, not just the evidence we find appealing.
As you can see, or if you are of weak stomach, didn’t see, the videographic evidence presented here is rock-solid well, some of it was more solid than others. What is shown though, is multiple wild bears appearing to sh*t in the woods.
Could this all be a hoax? Perchaps, all the bear in the videos could very well be humans in realistic bear suits. But, what sways us towards saying the footage is genuine, is the sheer amount of doo-doo produced. If that is a human in a costume, then they seriously need to re-examine their diet, because… DAYUM.
Old school time, the photograph. Let’s take a look at some of the more compelling photographic evidence, shall we?
Well, that certainly flung some dung into things didn’t it? First off, we once again see what appear to be bears dropping the kids off in the woods, but wait! There’s more!
Not only do we see that bears poo-poo in the woods, but we also see that some are a bit more adventurous with their sh*ts and add an aerial aspect to it. They will not hesitate to dookie on carports! And in parking lots! What an interesting turn of events.
Before we come to any final conclusions though, let’s play devil’s advocate for a second. Are the pictures fake or Photoshopped? Who knows, it’s a bear taking a crap in the woods. If you take the time to fake that, congratulations, consider me fooled. Moving on…
YOUV'E GOTTA BE SH*TTING ME
Time for our final verdict. Does an Ursaring sh*t in the woods? While we cannot conclusively prove it since, well, it’s an animated cartoon, we do believe the answer to be a resounding, YES! Yes an Ursaring most definitely sh*ts in the woods.
You have to believe that the beast’s intestinal system works much like that of their cousin’s, the bear. But, to us, that sells the sh*tting ability of this majestic species short. Bears, and by family association, Ursaring, not only sh*t in the woods, they drop deuces EVERYWHERE.
What does this mean? Not much other than if you live in Ursaring country you better watch your step because you never know where a pile of Ursaring dung will be waiting for you.
Though we stay extremely busy here at G2G, and always attempt to remain completely professional, we are 12yr olds trapped in adult bodies and making time for a good laugh is something we cherish deeply. We know our pubescent humor isn’t for everyone, but we hope that some of you were able to take this lightheartedly and giggle with us just a bit.